How long should a eulogy be?

Aim for about three to five minutes — roughly 500 to 750 words read aloud. That is long enough to tell a couple of real stories and short enough to hold everyone's attention and your own composure. When in doubt, shorter is kinder to a grieving room.

How do you start a eulogy?

Introduce who you are and your relationship to the person, then land on one true thing about them — a trait, a role, a phrase they always said. You do not need a grand opening; a simple, honest first line sets the tone better than a quote or joke that has to work too hard.

What should you not put in a eulogy?

Avoid airing grievances, family conflicts, or anything you would not want a wide audience to hear. Skip long lists of dates that read like a résumé. Choose two or three vivid stories over a complete biography, and keep humor gentle and affectionate, never at the person's expense.

How to write a eulogy (with a template)

By Karl-Gustav Kallasmaa

Published July 2026 · 7 min read

How to write and deliver a eulogy: how long it should be, a structure that works, a fill-in template, and tips for getting through it — so you can speak from the heart without freezing up.

The short version

A eulogy is a short speech honoring someone who has died, usually given at the funeral or memorial. Its job is not to summarize a whole life but to help a room feel who the person was through a few true stories. Keep it to about three to five minutes, speak plainly, and let specifics do the work.

Two stories beat ten facts

One vivid moment — the way they laughed, a thing they always did — tells people more than a list of dates and titles ever will.

A structure that works

Open — who you are, and your relationship to them.
Who they were — one or two traits that defined them.
Stories — two or three short, specific memories that show those traits.
What they gave — what they meant to family and friends, and what they leave behind.
Close — a final line: a farewell, a thank-you, or something they used to say.

A template

Fill-in template

For those who don't know me, I'm [name], [relationship]. When I think of [name], I think of [one defining trait]. [Story that shows it.] That was [name] all over — [what the story reveals]. [Second story.] [He/She/They] taught me [something]. We will miss [specific things]. [Closing line or their favorite saying.]

The obituary and the eulogy are different jobs: the obituary is the written notice, the eulogy is the spoken tribute.

Delivering it

Write it out in full and print it large — do not rely on memory or a phone.
Practice aloud a few times, and time yourself.
Bring water and take pauses; a silence is fine.
Have a backup reader — ask someone to be ready to finish if you cannot.
Slow down. Everyone in the room is on your side.

Calla's free eulogy writer can help you shape a draft from a few memories.